Looking Through Your Eyes
by AoiFurin
Summary: Juubei had always been blind...for he cannot see what Kadsuki sees. Rates for shonen-ai and angst


Looking through your eyes

Disclaimers: Don't own...don't sue...

Summary: Juubei had always been blind...for he cannot see what Kadsuki sees.

Looking Through your Eyes

-

Juubei had always been blind. No, not literally.

It all started when they first met, he had been blinded by the light he claims Kadsuki emits. To him, he's a deity that needs to be put in a pedestal. Cannot be harmed...cannot be touched.

Kadsuki would just smile at him and shrug off the uneasy feeling of being praised. After all, to him, Juubei's his best friend.

-

_"I want to give you my eyes Juubei." the young heir of the strings once said. The needle master stopped in his tracks and looked back at the angel he swore to protect with his life._

_"Why?"_

_"So you can see that we're just equals. I want you to see the world with my eyes." Kadsuki's smile melted his heart yet he held his wits._

_"I'm your protector, that would never change. Our roles will never be reversed so forgive me for declining your offer." He smiled apologetically. And how could he take away those eyes? Those soulful brown eyes that see life as peaches and cream. No, he can't. He can't take away those gifts._

-

Juubei had always been blind. Still, not literally.

It happened again when they built their gang. Kadsuki as the leader, Juubei as the right hand while Toshiki held the left position. Kadsuki's the last of their clan so he swore once again that if he can help it, he'll protect Kadsuki from all the harm.

But now, as Uryuu entered the scene, he's been blinded by another thing. Jealousy...yes he, Kakei Juubei, is jealous. He never understood what fascinates Kadsuki on Toshiki's moves. Yet, he never voiced it out. He kept silent as Kadsuki's endless babbles torture his heart.

-

_"I want to give you my eyes Juubei." Teenage Kadsuki said as they walk towards their hideout. Toshiki had gone earlier to clear the area and for that Juubei's thankful._

_"Why?" he asked once again._

_"So you could see the way Toshiki dance. His moves so graceful, one would think he's dancing on a tune only he could hear. A silent dance that nobody could ever do. How I wish you could see it, Juubei. It's so amazing." Kadsuki's eyes sparkle as he remembers the other boy's fighting moves. His admiration for the blonde boy was no secret like how Juubei silently wept inside._

_"I wish I could see it too, but your safety comes first. I would like to watch but I'm busy protecting you." Kadsuki sigh knowing he can't make Juubei change his mind._

-

Juubei had always been blind. Nope, not literally.

When Kadsuki left in search for the Raitei, he's been blinded with pure hatred and rage. To top it all, the loneliness and the feeling of being betrayed have blinded him. He doesn't want to but to urge to fight his charge needs to be fulfilled. And fulfill he did...

In the end, he couldn't kill the one he swore to love with all his life. So he tried ending his yet his one took that chance.

-

_"I want to give you my eyes Juubei." Kadsuki as he carries Juubei to Doctor Gen. Juubei tried opening his eyes and ask why, but his strength failed him. Good thing Kadsuki understands._

_"For you to see that you're still my friend. That I didn't betrayed you. That I only did what is right. You'll always be my best friend Juubei. I don't want anyone other than you." Kadsuki, trying to wake Juubei. He cannot sleep now. He must fight._

_"I'm sorry Kadsuki...I can't." at that, Juubei succumbed to the darkness._

-

Juubei's now blind, literally.

Without his sight, his other's senses heightened. He could feel if Kadsuki's happy or sad. Excited or bored out of his mind. Of all the years they'd been together, he had come to see one glaring truth. He loved Kadsuki with all his heart.

Yet there's also the truth that he's Kadsuki's protector. Kadsuki's his chosen One.

-

_"I want to give you my eyes Juubei." Kadsuki as he traced Juubei's eyelids. He sighed knowing Juubei still blames himself for hurting him and thinks that being blind is not enough punishment for hurting his charge._

_Instead of asking why, Juubei held Kadsuki's hand. "You have good intentions but I cannot take that. Kadsuki, you'll always be my charge. I won't let any harm come down upon you. I swear with all my life." He kissed Kadsuki's hand before pulling away. He could feel Kadsuki's disappointment but he never gave himself hope. No, it's better this way._

-

Juubei's thankful that he's blind.

So that Kadsuki would never see the pain in his eyes as he take his vows with another man. He could feel Kadsuki's joy as he promised forever with the lucky one yet he could feel there's bitterness in his one's heart.

He could feel Kadsuki's weary gaze and his sad smile. He knew that Kadsuki's saying goodbye. That now, there'll be another man to protect the heir of strings.

But he never showed his pain. He smiled and supports Kadsuki up until the priest announced that he's bounded to another one.

-

_"I want to give you my eyes Juubei." Kadsuki as he hugged Juubei at the wedding. For once, Juubei didn't decline._

_"Yeah, so I could see how beautiful you are now." Kadsuki smiled that sad smile again before beaming up._

_"Come on, let's take some pictures now!"_

-

Juubei can see now. And he's not happy for that...

He didn't know that Kadsuki made that will. That incase anything happens to him, he wished for his eyes to be transferred to Juubei. Gen had came up with a medication that could help Juubei see again but that would require an eye donor. Kadsuki signed up as the first donor in case he dies.

He shouldn't have died but he did and now it's too late to change it back. He's suppose to protect his one but he's not there when that guy shoot his back. He could've prevented it but he failed that's why Kadsuki died.

He and Toshiki were the last ones on his grave. They're the only ones who had loved the string master more than their lives. Silently, they shared the last moment before deciding to go back. Before they part, Toshiki handed him a book he know to well as Kadsuki's journal.

"He asked in his will for you to have that. You're not there when it's read so they gave it to me to hand it to you." That's all that Toshiki said before he left. Juubei silently opened the notebook, chocolate eyes widening at what Kadsuki had written. He collapsed in front of Kadsuki's grave as he read each entry that carries the soul of his one.

-

_"I want to give Juubei my eyes to make him see. That we're equals and that he doesn't need to praise me. I want him to see that I'm just an ordinary boy who wanted to be his friend. I want him to see me, Kadsuki not the Heir."_

_-_

_"I want to give Juubei my eyes to make him see. How graceful Toshiki dance whenever he fight. I also want him to see the silent rhythm he makes whenever he uses his technique. I want him to see that by working together they create a beautiful melody."_

_-_

_"I want to give Juubei my eyes to make him see. That all I want is for us to unite. Ginji held this aura that forces me to follow him and I want him to see that. I want him to see that I did not betray him and he did not betray me. We simply had a misunderstanding and I want him to see that I still trust him. That I still want him to be my friend."_

_-_

_"I want to give Juubei my eyes to make him see. That I need him...that I love him. I know he loves me but he won't make himself look that I return those feelings. Am I not worthy enough? I want him to see my heart that beats only for him but he never permit himself to feel. I want him to see that I'm not happy with the man I'm with now, that I can only be happy to him."_

_-_

_"I want to give Juubei my eyes to make him see. That we're both suffering, that we need to stop pretending. He pushes me to that man and in the end, I married him. I could see the pain he tries to hide...the same pain I'm feeling now. I want him to see himself cry. That he needs to let it all out. Juubei had always been blind and me the selfish brat, wanted him to see through my eyes."_

-

Juubei closed the book and looked at Kadsuki with weary eyes.

"I'm sorry Kadsuki...I've always been blind...and a fool." with that, he let out all the tears he had hidden inside.

"Look Kadsuki...I'm crying now."

owari

A/N: I seriously don't know where that came from. I'm supposed to write a fic from another fandom but this crept up to me. Sorry for any errors, I'm really sleepy.


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